By Jamie Crossan

  • Prisons would be renamed "Love the Sinner Hate the Sin Tough Love™ Community Intervention Centers."
  • Coveting your neighbor’s ass would be a capital offense.
  • The Bible Belt would be replaced by The God Delusion Neck-tie.
  • Taco Bell would be renamed The Rob Bell All-Food-Is-Spiritual-Ethno-Dining Experience (after first being called Rob Bell’s Everything Is Velvet Sex-Mex for, oh, about two days).
  • “Thou shalt make war” would be enshrined as the 11th commandment.
  • Rick Warren would be elected President for Life, after Jesus declines the offer.
  • Billy Graham's face would be carved into Mount Rushmore.
  • The message on the Statue of Liberty--Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free--would be replaced with "God helps those who help themselves."
  • The Washington Monument would be demolished, due to its resemblance to a giant . . . well, you know.
  • McDonald's, Oprah Winfrey and the state of Michigan would become wholly owned subsidiaries of Zondervan.
  • There would be liberty and justice for all. Except atheists, socialists, pro-choicers, gays, New-Agers, Marilyn Manson, Mexicans, and possibly the Mormons.
  • The Constitution would be replaced with The Purpose Driven Life.
  • The capital would be moved to Lynchburg, Virginia.
  • The U.S. would take a more active part in bringing on the Rapture by nuking Mecca.
  • Benny Hinn would be named Secretary of Health, Bob Tilton Secretary of the Treasury, Dr. Creflo A. Dollar the Surgeon General, and James Dobson the head of the Environmental Protection Agency.
  • The Pledge of Allegiance would be replaced with the sinner's prayer.
  • The word of knowledge would become the CIA's primary weapon in the War on Terror, as water-boarding is replaced with 24-hour exposure to TBN.


Jamie Crossan | 09:49 pm on 7/11/2008

Well, I'm normally not a fan of writers commenting on their own work, but my tiny little heart is breaking over this saga. Where's the love people? Why all the potty mouth talk, and calling one another douchebags and pretentious, snooty copulators. Perhaps as one writing from the far colony of Australia, I don't quite understand the satirical modalities of your culture, nor fully appreciate that you are the greatest goldamn nation on the whole goldamn planet. Perhaps also when I write my next piece, "Top 10 reasons why people who visit the Door just to complain are complete muppets", I shall include a powerpoint show of me using a laser pointer and an easel to explain where I'm coming from.

Token inappropriate word: penis.

I also take exception to my flatulence being described as perfumed, when I only use natural, fair-trade plant extracts to sweeten my poots. And what are you doing, sniffing around my rectum anyway Bill?

Meh. Sorry some of you didn't like it. Win some lose some. And no Josh, I'm not related to John Dominic, thank God. It's just a good old Scottish name.

Cheers all. Peace out. Group hug.

budda | 03:37 am on 7/13/2008

Be encouraged Jamie, your article got 45 comments. That is not too shabby. I apologize on behalf of my american brethren, they were a bit hard on you methinks. I would love to read that next article, but may I suggest a new title?

"Top 10 reasons why people who visit the Door just to complain are complete douchebags"

Anonymous | 03:13 pm on 7/16/2008

me likey.

JoshH | 04:25 am on 7/13/2008

I think the issue is that a lot of that stuff isn't funny, given the current political situation here in the US of A.

BJ | 08:28 am on 7/15/2008

I got this email this morning.

As I was listening to a news program last night, I watched in horror as
Barack Obama made the statement with pride. . .'we are no longer a Christian
nation; we are now a nation of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, . . ...
As with so many other statements I've heard him (and his wife) make, I never
thought I'd see the day that I'd hear something like that from a
presidential candidate in this nation. To think our forefathers fought and
died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation--and to have this
man say with pride that we are no longer that. How far this nation has come
from what our founding fathers intended it to be.

Process Deist | 02:27 pm on 7/15/2008

I wish every American voter would read and understand "American Jesus" and "Religious Literacy", both written by Stephen Prothero.
Then e-mails, as in the example you give, would be laughed at and not forwarded to ten more Patriotic/Flag Worshipping/Allegiance Praying/'Special' Friends of Jesus.
Thanks for sharing the e-mail, BJ. I think that you and I both share a dislike of a Holy Trinity composed of God, Jesus and the United States of America.

TheRD | 03:09 pm on 7/17/2008

Um... BJ ... have you ever studied American History? Are you not aware of the fact that our "forefathers" were not Christians, but Deists? Do you not know about the Jefferson "Bible" which pretty much cut out the parts about Jesus? If they were around today would they be "religious" at all?

Process Deist | 08:50 pm on 7/17/2008

Don't worry about BJ.
He is sharp as a tack.
He understands the FUN in fundie.
The Boy is well educated.

BJ | 06:29 am on 7/18/2008

Um...TuRD, I was passing along the email to illustrate how obsurd the "Christian Nation" argument can be. BTW I majored in history with a minor in political science.

BJ | 08:35 am on 7/18/2008

I was absent the day we learned to spell absurd.

that calvinist doug | 02:40 pm on 7/18/2008

BJ, I was gonna say you're funny as hell, but then I started thinking that maybe we should come up with a different euphemism, 'cause well, hell ain't that funny really...anyhoo, I laughed.

SRebbe | 12:59 pm on 7/24/2008

I always thought that the nation was to be founded on freedom to be whatever religion you wanted to be without fear of force [no thanks to them Puritans]... but that's just me.

Geno | 12:58 am on 7/12/2008

Um, yeah, this is definitely a piece we should all get worked up about. I think I must know some of you guys.

David Williams | 09:06 pm on 7/12/2008

Jamie: What's wrong with muppets?

pigseye | 05:27 am on 7/13/2008

Whats wrong with muppets ?? Whats wrong with the muppets ??
After an extensive investigation it was found out by leading televangelists that big bird was directly responsible for turning
the pink teletubby gay. And he also was instrumental in teaching barney to subliminally instruct the children to turn against their parents and worship satan.

Anonymous | 09:06 am on 7/13/2008

Nothing wrong with muppets per se; it's just that in the UK - and obviously, also in Australia - "muppet" is a slightly milder version of the American "douchebag".

Process Deist | 02:28 pm on 7/13/2008

Well, there you have it then. A gentleman who uses the term "douchebag" is uncivilized and should be considered a 'right twit.'

Anonymous | 03:16 pm on 7/16/2008

Muppets do not react properly to sexual advances. (no matter how hard you try)

That's one thing that is wrong with them.

..shall I continue?

A | 05:36 pm on 7/13/2008

RIght Twit...lol..are u civilised

Cynth The Poet | 09:21 pm on 7/13/2008

That Eleventh Commandment part of the list made me remember these words written by a very cool dude:

"If we were to pass an Eleventh Commandment
In twenty years people would be shocked to learn
That there had once been only ten
And wouldn't care if there had been"

T Bone Burnett, "Every Time I Feel the Shift"

Personally speaking, I would love to see this article posted in bus stop shelters all over the USA. Not everyone visits the Door, even if it comes up on a Goooooooooogle search.

TheDonQuixotic | 01:30 am on 7/16/2008

Well I will say this is okay satire, but I have one beef. Alot of mexicans are christian, so I don't see why they would be persecuted. Other than the commonly held stereotype that christians are racist, which I don't see to have any grounding in fact. Satire must be based in fact. So not a bad idea, but not so well done.

emergent pillage | 11:42 am on 7/16/2008

If I'm a muppet, can I be...


...even if I don't play drums?

BJ | 01:57 pm on 7/17/2008

John Hagee would be the minister of defense. Don't mess with Texas or Israel.

BJ | 02:02 pm on 7/17/2008

The Bravo channel will be replaced with the 24 hour Ozzie and Harriet network.

SRebbe | 01:00 pm on 7/24/2008


David | 06:59 pm on 7/17/2008

I love the Door, but this is piece a bit too much vitriol and not enough fun....

Cartoon Mohammed | 12:10 pm on 7/21/2008

It would also be the fattest country in the world. Born Again equals fat ass.

"Mississippi is the fattest state for 3rd straight year, Colorado still leanest, D.C. loses weight

For 2008 Mississippi has claimed the title of fattest state for the third consecutive year, while Colorado repeats as the leanest. Delaware rose the most places in the rankings over last year, while California dropped the most, according to a new analysis by CalorieLab, Inc.

Most Obese States
West Virginia and Alabama remained as the second and third fattest states this year. The four states of Mississippi, West Virginia, Alabama, and Louisiana have obese populations that exceed 30 percent over a three-year average and two-thirds of the citizens of Mississippi and West Virginia were either overweight or obese by CDC standards in 2007.

Also not faring well this year was Delaware, which rose eight places to tie with North Dakota as the 21st fattest state, from last year’s 29th placing. Delaware’s 3-year obesity rate rose 2.4 percent.

Regional Obesity by State Trends
In general, states in the West and New England rank lowest in the fattest states rankings, while states in the South and the Rust Belt tend to rank highest."


Process Deist | 03:36 pm on 7/21/2008

Let me see, I believe your quote was, "Born Again equals fat ass."
I do not think in those terms. I think that all of America, regardless of race, sex or creed is overweight.
But.....I must confess.....the last few years....I have noticed quite a few 'Church Ladies', moving around the Santurary as if they were one of the 'Great Ships at Sea'.
Or, somethings I wonder if it would be safer for the children in the Nursery, if the Matron was equiped with a back-up alarm.
And the modern Mortician, will often suggest in the most polite manner, that 8 Casket Bearers would be better than 6.
So true, what the Russian immigrant said, "America is so great, even the poor people are fat".

mountainguy | 07:40 pm on 7/23/2008

So true, what the Russian immigrant said, "America is so great, even the poor people are fat".

hahahahaha... it reminds me when a friend of my sister went to Italy, and she said "even the beggars are handsome"

that calvinist doug | 03:49 pm on 7/21/2008

Bear with me here a moment, as what I'm about to type could easily be misinterpreted as racist or classist, but it's not.

I think the overwhelming factor in obesity is economic, not religious. Our poor, statistically speaking, are most at risk for obsesity. The fact is, the states ranking near the top are also some of our poorest states, and they have a higher than average minority population (which, also, have a higher propensity to be poor).

There are a lot of factors at work here...it's cheaper to eat unhealthy foods than healthy, less education, etc. But I don't think being "religious", of any particular stripe, has anything to do with it. You certainly don't have to be poor to be fat, as my spare tire will attest, but it does raise your chance. BTW, I think it also speaks volumes about our wealth as a society when our poorest are also the most likely to be fat.

Anonymous | 09:57 am on 7/22/2008

Religion does play a role in keeping people in poverty. It is often anti-intellectual, sexist and racist. One only needs to compare the most religion societies to the least religious societies, to see that the least religious societies are the better places to live and have lower rates of crime and poverty.

that calvinist doug | 01:33 pm on 7/22/2008

For one thing, I'd assume by the phrase "least religious socieities" you infer Western Europe or possibly Austrailia/New Zealand. While it is certainly debateable whether or not those socieities are "better places to live" than America, I will only point out that those societies are anything but diverse, being overwhelmingly of white, Chrisitan origin. I'd argue that diversity is prone to bring about poverty.

Secondly, about non-religious societies being better places to live...did you mean to imply China, Cuba, cold-war Soviet Bloc, and all those other lovely places where religion has been officially banned? Yeah, I hear they're lovely in the spring, when you can hear the cries of the political and religious prisoners wafting through the fresh growth of flowers.

budda | 08:08 pm on 7/22/2008

Point to Doug, game, set, match.

Anonymous | 10:32 am on 7/24/2008

"I'd argue that diversity is prone to bring about poverty"
Then you better keep the desentants of Ham from getting into heaven. There goes the neigherbor.
Your buddy John Calvin was not great and just leader either.

that calvinist doug | 12:23 pm on 7/24/2008

1. I hate replying to "anonymouses" because I have no idea if you're the anonymous I originally replied to in this post or some other one.

2. I never said diversity is bad; I only said it promotes poverty. When a society shares the same race, religion, background, history, and cultural norms, it only stands to reason that they will not have the strife that inevitably comes from comingling with others who are different. Strife brings about the "us versus them" mentality which encourages systematic poverty. It amuses me when people condemn this natural human behavior of cloistering, and then I find out they have no real friends different from themselves.

3. Considering the website you sent me to in order to educate me on the evils of Calvin is a Catholic site, I'm not overly surprised at what I found.

Pastor Mark | 09:55 pm on 7/22/2008

Wow. Christian nation huh?
I think we could all agree on Christian principles, but there are many misguided who believe the nation was actually intended to be Christian. What do you think Jesus has to say on this topic? Would He be about nationalizing a religion, having an entire nation full of "Churchianity" and whatnot? Or would he about opposing an empire that keeps the poor in their poverty and makes the rich richer?

No, if you look close enough (or maybe far enough away if you happen to be nearsighted) you will see that the USA was founded to be released from religious tyranny. Remember the whole Bill of Rights thing - Freedom of Religion, separation of Church & State? No national religion. So we GET to be a nation of Churchianity, Buddhism, Islam and the like. Freedom. That's what the USA is about.

We can argue all day long about deism or anything else. The fact of the matter is in 2008 we are a nation of multiple religions. Founded on Christian principles, sure. They came from a nation where Christianity was the legal religion and anything else got ya strung up. So naturally they founded on Christian principles. "In God We Trust" doesn't have any reference to Christ whatsoever. So we could just as easily say that our nation was built to be a Jewish nation. Hmm... interesting.

budda | 08:03 am on 7/26/2008

Look at this Jamie, 82 comments and counting. And that with SRebe being gone for most of the time. Not to shabby indeed.

Guy Stewart | 05:44 pm on 7/29/2008

Isn't humor subjective? Some found it funny. Some didn't. Pronouncing something "not funny" doesn't make it so. Of course, the converse is also true...

pigseye | 06:29 am on 8/17/2008

Pronouncing something true dosn't make it so either.

Anonymous | 08:57 am on 8/22/2008

Hey, it was just a bomb, leave it at that. Comedy is hard.

A1 | 10:41 pm on 8/24/2008

Fact or Satire, you decide. Answer at the bottom.

Democrats open faith-filled convention with prayer

By ERIC GORSKI, AP Religion Writer 08/24/08

DENVER - At the first official event Sunday of the Democratic National Convention, a choir belted out a gospel song and was followed by a rabbi reciting a Torah reading about forgiveness and the future.

Helen Prejean, the Catholic nun who wrote "Dead Man Walking," assailed the death penalty and the use of torture.

Young Muslim women in headscarves sat near older African-American women in their finest Sunday hats.

Four years ago, such a scene would have been unthinkable at a Democratic National Convention. In 2004, there was one interfaith lunch at the Democratic gala in Boston.

But that same year, "values voters" helped re-elect President Bush, giving Democrats of faith the opening they needed to make party leaders listen to them.

The result was on display at Sunday's interfaith service, staged in a theater inside the Colorado Convention Center, and will be evident throughout the convention agenda and on the sidelines.

There will be four "faith caucus" meetings, blessings to open and close each night, and panels and parties run by Democratic-leaning religious advocacy groups that didn't even exist in 2004 — not to mention protests from religious groups and leaders opposed to the Democratic platform.

Other challenges may come from within. At Sunday's service, Bishop Charles Blake, head of the predominantly black Church of God in Christ and a self-described pro-life Democrat, said Barack Obama should be pressed to "elaborate upon his stated intention to reduce the number of abortions by providing alternative programs."

One hallmark of Democratic faith efforts at the convention is diversity, which might soften objections from party activists wary of the Christian right or any mixing of religion and politics. Behind the scenes, efforts to attract the religious vote will concentrate largely on Christian "values voters."

"If we create or become a mirror image of the religious right, we have failed," said Burns Strider, who ran religious outreach for Hillary Clinton's campaign and now does faith-based political consulting. "But if we have increased the number of chairs around the table, ... then we've succeeded."

One reason religion is playing such a prominent role at this week's convention is that Obama has made faith outreach prominent in his campaign.

"People of faith are being engaged in the convention in a new and robust way ,and it's because of Senator Obama's acknowledgment that people of faith and values have an important place in American public life," said Joshua DuBois, the Obama campaign's religious affairs director.

The campaign is giving a platform to people who otherwise would not have been invited to or attended a Democratic convention. One example is Joel Hunter, a moderate evangelical megachurch pastor from Orlando, Fla., who will offer the benediction Thursday, the night Obama accepts the nomination.

"Now there's a genuine interest in speaking with groups and religious groups who were previously considered enemies," said Rachel Laser, who works on culture issues for the centrist Democratic think tank Third Way.

Laser helped broker compromise language in the Democrats' abortion platform that acknowledges the need to help women who want to keep their pregnancies. Hunter and liberal evangelical leader Jim Wallis were involved, as were new groups such as Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good.

Despite all the effort, there is little evidence religious votes are shifting. A Pew poll released last week showed the political preferences of religious voters, including highly sought Catholics and white evangelicals, have scarcely budged since 2004.

Catholics are up for grabs, but white evangelicals have become so solidly Republican, Obama has little chance of carving too deeply into the Republican lead, said Allen Hertzke, a University of Oklahoma political scientist.

"There still is a possibility that Obama will chip into the Republican advantage with this religious outreach," Hertzke said. "Even if he gains just a few points, that could be decisive in a close election."

Fact. The source is from:

Vic | 01:29 pm on 8/25/2008

It's obvious that the person who started and controlled the mood of most of this thread was in need of something really really deep to read this day and was hurt by the lowbrow humor (am I using lowbrow right here) found instead. I really think the anger whirled out through that post was extreme.
So maybe we need to ask that person, what's up? What's wrong? Do you need to share something with us?

Other than that, I didn't find too much about the list really funny - mostly expected - which says a lot really. But I did get a good laugh about how America will do it's part to bring on the Endtimes by bombing Mecca. I did laugh out loud. Perhaps simple and only moderatly funny things hide deep messages. Or maybe it was just some of what I call stoopid humor. I don't like it as much as the other kinds of humor, but it has it's place I suppose. I know a whole lotta Christians that would be offended if I sent them this little article. Really. I'm serious. None of you here seemed to be offended, me either. But my Christian friends and associates and co-workers would be. wow. I just realized that. I mean, I got the Purpose Driven Life for Christmas from a co-worker and am still looking for God in it. I also know people who follow the lessons of many of the people mentioned in that article.
HEY, people here think more like me than people I have in my life. What the heck do I do now? I'm a closet Door-ist, Dooravist, Dooralogian,

:) | 09:55 am on 8/26/2008

I thought it was funny. But then again, I did sign this petition: www.jamesdobsondoesntspeakforme.com
so that probably means I won't survive the purge either.

SRebbe | 10:09 pm on 8/27/2008

according to The Rutherford Institute fantastic ACLU thingy here in Charlottesville, except they actually stand up for EVERYONE!!!), Rick Warren has unofficially nominated himself the New Emperor of the Evangelical Movement. Dobson has fallen, thankgod.

John Whitehead (founder) has taken on the Commonwealth and gotten the gov't to repeal laws that fined out of state drivers higher 'reckless' speeding fines, represented students' First Amendments Rights who dared to wear "Virginity Rocks" t-shirts to school (and refused to turn them inside out when requested by school authorities, in accordance to zero-tolerance policies that cited 'offensive clothing'), and also is waiting for any church to hire him to take on the NFL over their silly policies that ban showing games on their big screens and projectors in sanctuaries, again due to NFL policy.

I will post the commentary in its entirety in the morning as our daily rag doesn't keep these Faith and Values things online -- of course. It's a dinky college town, UVA being here or not.

SRebbe | 02:51 pm on 8/28/2008

Here it is as promised:

Commentary from THE DAILY PROGRESS (Charlottesville, VA)
Sunday, August 24, 2008

by John W. Whitehead

America, meet your new evangelical leader

I have never been considered a part of the religious right, because I don't believe politics is the most effective way to change the world. Although public service can be a noble profession, and I believe it is our responsibility to vote, I don't have much faith in government solutions, give the track record.

The recent Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency was a wash. Both candidates, who claim to be Christians, spent much of their time pandering to the nearly three million television viewers who tuned in. But in terms of what presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama had to say, their responses were largely lacking in content.

However, the Saddleback Forum wasn't insignificant. Its significance has less to do with what the two candidates had to say than in what the person asking the questions, Rick Warren, signifies for the future of Christianity.

The fact that it was Warren and not James Dobson, the Christian Right's de facto Godfather, is particularly telling. It speaks of a decided shift away from the rigid, right-winged mindset that has dominated evangelical Christianity in America over the last three decades. Warren, pastor of the 23,000-member Saddleback Church in California and the best-selling author of "The Purpose-Driven Life," seems to be about as far as you can get from the stigma of the Christian Right while still calling himself an evangelical Christian.

The Christian Right, represented by such prominent figures as Dobson, Pat Robertson and the Late Jerry Falwell, among others, has long stoof for the erection of a Christian State. As David Kuo, who served as special assistant to President Bush documents in his book "Tempting Faith," these Christian leaders worked hard to maintain ties to the Bush White House, complete with weekly conference calls to keep them updated on ever facet of the president's policy and political agenda.

However, the dismal failure of the Bush presidency has led inevitably to the decline of the Christian Right -- and can be credited with contributing to Warren's rise to prominence. According to a 2005 Nation article, Warren "disassociates himself from the religious right, noting that he shares its position on social issues but doesn't want to focus on them. He focuses on poverty, disease, and aid to Africa."

It's not difficult to see why Warren, a mainline evangelical in the Billy Graham mold, is enjoying such popularity. Disillusioned by the power-hawking, war-mongering of the Christian Right, the nation's 80 million evangelical Christians would have little trouble with the feel-good Christianity that Warren sells -- non-confrontational, congenial, and polite. That isn't to say that it lacks substance, merely controversy.

As a recent time article observed, like Graham, Warren "projects an authenticity that he helped him forge an exquisite set of political connections -- in the White House, on both sides of the legislative aisle and abroad. And he is both leading and riding the newest wave and change in the Evangelical community: an expansion beyond social conservatism to causes such as battling poverty, opposing torture and combating global warming.

"The movement has loosened the hold of religious-right leaders on ordinary Evangelicals and created an opportunity for Warren, who has lent his prominent voice to many of the new concerns."

Warren has avoided much that is controversial, such as abortion and gay marriage (what he refers to as "sin issues"). Instead, Warren focuses on issues that "unite," such as poverty, HIV/AIDS, climate change, and human rights. Warren is, whether consciously or unconsciously, shifting the national faith dialogue back to a pre-Regan era, before the small group of leaders that have come to dominate the Christian Right turned Christianity into a synonym for right-wing theocracy.

Sidestepping the siren call of politics, Warren has taken aim at what he calls the "five global giants": spiritual emptiness, selfish leadership, hunger, sickness, and illiteracy. Empowered by his publishing success and with the support of his megachurch, he launched his PEACE initiative -- an acronym for Promote reconciliation, Equip servant leaders, Assist the poor, Care for the sick, and Educate the next generation. Since coming up with the plan, he has taken his PEACE plan global, with Rwanda as his testing ground.

Warren is now being looked upon as America's pastor. Suddenly, Christianity appears somewhat appealing again. Yet while there is so much to commend this so-called New Evangelicalism, with its rejection of politics as the answer and its emphasis on carrying out Jesus' mandate to care for the poor and helpless, there is also an important lesson to the learned. The rise of the Christian Right came about at a time when the evangelical church in America was doing its best to be non-controversial an inoffensive. The evangelical church's subsequent failure was to morally impact the culture and the legalization of abortion can be directly attributed to the emergence ot the Christian Right.

The Christian Right was, without a doubt, a semi-militant reaction to a society that seemed to be lacking a moral compass. And as journalist Chris Hedges points out in his book "American Fascists," if a real crisis rises again across this country (such as another terrorist attack), it would not take much for the country to revert back to such a militant fundamentalism.

This brings us to the current presidential election. No matter who ascends to the White House, it's clear that Christians will not enjoy the kind of access that laid claim to during the Bush administration -- whatever good it did them. For example, abortions didn't decline under Bush, and it's doubtful that whether they would under either Obama or McCain.

The lesson to be learned is this: what is needed now is not a return to the overly polite Christianity of the pre-Regan era. Nor is it the politically charged Christianity of the Religious Right, but a brand of Christianity that does not shy away from speaking truth to power. In other words, the type of Christianity Jesus practiced.

John Whitehead is president and founder of the Albemarle County-based Rutherford Institute, a civil-liberties organization. He can be reached at johnw@rutherford.org

kermit | 03:43 pm on 9/06/2008

Although i'm back over the pond in sunny England i think i agree with some of the previous posters.

Its just a dig at the usual suspects really. The main problem is its a bit obvious. Only Todd Bentley is missing from the checklist Presumably you couldnt think of an appropriate job for him since Hinn is at Health. Maybe Hinn should have been in charge of the Treasury although of course theres a glut of candidates for that one.

Granted, most of the view of American Christianity we get this side of the water revolves around the christian loony fringe, most of whom you name checked in the item as our general media view here is that American Christianity = Anti-Intellectual Redneck War-Mongers.
I thought it was just that this kind of thing made good copy.
A bit worried to find that you guys think its like that as well!

Even more worrying is that Sarah Palin, (a POSSIBLE candidate for Environment, or perhaps Child Support) , could easily be added to the list and might actually get a sniff of real power........truth is stranger than satire. Disturbingly so.

Christov_Tenn | 08:29 pm on 9/24/2008

Bummer. Not amusing, and I wanted it to be funny.

Anonymous | 04:41 pm on 9/25/2008

from dante to mark twain satire has always been a most effective tool in getting people to take a good long look in the mirror at themselves and they generally never like what it is they see.

Nietzsche | 12:00 pm on 12/26/2008

Hey all you f--king Evangelical A-holes........ If you want to live in a Theocracy, I Highly advocate that you move to IRAN! See how happy those people are????? We should nail Ayattoola Beeny Hunn's ass, together with all the rest of these krixstain TV preachers, the lying mother-f--ken spreaders of hate, to the biggest crosses ever constructed. But make sure that it's done way out in the desert, in July or August........... I wouldn't want the pieces of shit to suffer too long... I just want to rid the planet of their hate. Geebus would be spinning in his grave if he knew that these mother-fuckers were speaking in his name.

Douglas Stanley Jr. | 03:13 pm on 4/08/2009

What would America be like if we became "One Nation Under God"?

A better place.

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