Virgin Mary Found on Back of Grand Theft Auto

06/30/2008


By Danny Gallagher

After spending more than three hours in line outside of a Gamespot in Rockford, Illinois, hoping to buy a copy of "Grand Theft Auto IV" so her son would have "friends," Jane Wallach made a startling discovery.

The game she purchased had an image of the Virgin Mary plainly visible on the reflective side of the disc.

Wallach said she found the image after beginning her inspection of the disc, per the advice of parenting magazines that encourage parents to preview video games before letting their children play them. She was inspecting the disc for potential scratches or fingerprints that might interrupt her child's ability to shoot pimps or carjack school buses when suddenly the familiar shape of the Virgin Mary's rounded veil came into view.

GTA4

"My legs went numb," she said. "It was like the face of Mary was staring back at me, along with my face staring back at me as well. So really it's like she was looking at both of us, which was doubly scary."

News of the holy image spread quickly throughout the global Christian community. Thousands made the pilgrimage to Wallach's two-bedroom suburban home to view the game and leave offerings of flowers and crosses at the feet of its plastic casing. Even more showed up to
pray the Rosary and ask for divine guidance.

“I’ve been to the Vatican, to Nazareth, and to the Dalai Lama’s summer condo in Dharamsala, thanks to that trip I won after turning in three proofs of purchase to Fruit Loops,” said Justin George of Boise, Idaho, while waiting outside Wallach’s home. “But this is a place where I truly feel God’s presence.”

Retailers capitalized on the news and rushed ads into Sunday newspaper supplements. “The Mother of the Messiah Has RETURNED TO EARTH!” read the Best Buy ad, “and is available at the special Virgin Discount of $59.99.”

Religious scholars believe this newest image is the Holy Mother's way of reaching out to younger followers who may have strayed from her son's flock.

"This isn't a coincidence, just good marketing," said Dr. David Danforth, professor of theology at Southern Methodist University. "It could be only a matter of time before we see images of Mary and Christ on high-sugar energy drinks, iPods, carrot-flavored coffee cakes at Starbucks, meatless Boca Burgers, and even Ashton Kutcher films. Actually it’s long overdue. God should have been doing Airwalk shoes in the eighties, or badly painted custom vans in the seven–oh, right, he did do that."

Some of the children in Wallach’s neighborhood said they do feel closer to God after playing the game.

GTA

“My son is talking about wanting to go to church for the first time,” said mother Janey Weintraub. “He says he wants to ask the priest for forgiveness for shooting that hooker and taking her money after not paying for sex.”

Video game critics, however, such as Florida attorney Jack Thompson, worry the effect the games may have on holy deities. "Scientific and psychological studies have proven these games are designed to teach the players how to kill and soften their moral aptitude,” Thompson said. "Don’t we have enough earthquakes, tsunamis, floods and salmonella outbreaks? The last thing we need is something that encourages God to kill."

Dan Houser, Rockstar vice president, scoffed at the worries of critics and welcomed the divine appearance of the Holy Mother on one of his titles.

"The best part is we don't have to pay royalties for her appearance on the game," Houser said.


Comments(302)

maple syrup | 08:20 pm on 9/08/2010

Are you sure? LOL. Maybe you should make some pancakes and drench them with tons of pure maple syrup!

Recording Studio | 07:55 pm on 9/10/2010

Wow!This is really a great game but damn! I still can't beat it. Musikproduzent

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michael_dans | 11:25 pm on 9/14/2010

This is ridiculous, people are using it for marketing purpose. The government should have taken strict action against the company. GTA-4 should have been banned after the news.
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Tarot | 03:26 pm on 9/15/2010

Keep it away from those who are under 16 (my recommendation) and better keep it away from under 18. I am not sure but I heard many times that GTA was banned in some countries for its violence which it is famous for.Nice Idea.

Tarot

יעוץ קידום אתרים | 08:38 am on 9/16/2010

I got the same problem. But exept that it's a nice game. I love GTA1 and GTA2.
מסופונים יעוץ קידום אתרים רופא מוהל ביטוח אופניים לחו"ל

GPT Sites | 05:36 am on 9/17/2010

LOL this is great. I never knew this. thanks

wheelchair lift | 09:55 pm on 9/18/2010

Very nice article. Miracles can happen at anytime from the holy mother.

jammki | 03:53 am on 9/19/2010

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Sherman Oaks Dentist | 12:06 pm on 9/20/2010

I like the article very much. Keep updating with such interesting content, so that i can read more from you.
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Wooden Greenhouse | 06:25 am on 9/21/2010

I was playing the other day and was able to become the Jesus character. It was very cool. A fantastic to create games for children to bring them closer to God!

Insurance Leads | 04:21 am on 9/22/2010

Like the article very much. Keep updating with such interesting content, so that i can read more from you.this is great. I never knew this. thanks

Your biz | 05:25 pm on 9/24/2010

What date GTA new VI will be release?

edward long | 09:51 am on 9/26/2010

People are entitled to their own beliefs. Have tried playing GTA someone i know finds it interesting but that's their view this grants people freedom of choice.

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Liberar Blackberry | 04:41 pm on 9/30/2010

hahaha! thats awesome!.... NOT.. GTA is my favorite game of all time but this is just not something they should've put in the game... big dissapointment

AVillas in Menorca | 07:05 am on 10/01/2010

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stethoscope | 11:12 am on 10/02/2010

The new version of GTA is beginning to make sence to me. I was playing the other day and was able to become the Jesus character. It was very cool. I stole a garbage truck and picked up Mary Magdellan who was standing on a street corner.stethoscope

Teacher | 01:30 am on 10/04/2010
Teacher | 01:30 am on 10/04/2010

For sure someone is going to restart the eBay listing of Virgin mary Sightings and foods!
One of my students ate a half a sandwich once and found a pope style impression on the other side...
NICE

Primary Teacher Training | 01:31 am on 10/04/2010

For sure someone is going to restart the eBay listing of Virgin mary Sightings and foods!

One of my students ate a half a sandwich once and found a pope style impression on the other side...
NICE

Primary Teacher Training | 01:32 am on 10/04/2010

For sure someone is going to restart the eBay listing of Virgin mary Sightings and foods!

One of my students ate a half a sandwich once and found a pope style impression on the other side...
NICE

kraampakket | 05:14 am on 10/04/2010

I agree,

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light bulbs | 06:25 am on 10/08/2010

GTA was a great game. Apparently God thinks so too.

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nike air jordan jumpman pro | 10:54 pm on 10/10/2010

No, it means that you have a dirty mind and a dirty foul mouth, and if you don't believe in God, then you should at least fear the unknown which awaits you. You should actually pray for yourself, for your mind and your mouth are a mess - you need to clean yourself up, so you don't get further contaminated or contaminate others.

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