Skippy R's picture
03.31.2008 | Comments(10)

Fly me to the Moon

I just can't wait to die.

Celestis, Inc., a company that pioneered the sending of cremated remains into suborbital space on rockets, said it would start a service to the surface of the moon that could begin as early as next year.

Depositing one gram of your ashes on the moon will cost $9,995.

"About 1,000 capsules containing ashes will be launched on the first lunar mission, expected in late 2009 or early 2010, and about 5,000 on future flights," according to a Reuters report.

"The moon is a special place," Celestis president Charles Chafer said, adding a half dozen people had already signed up for the service. "For many people, it would be a romantic notion to look up into the sky and see the moon and know that your mom or dad or loved one is up there memorialized."

Yeah, there are several people I'd like to see up there right now.

But, seriously, I can't "off" myself just to get my ashes on the moon. That would be wrong.

If I had a touch of asthma, though, I could use the allergy drug Singulair, which is suspected of inducing depression and suicide.

And if finding that out depresses me, I could take one of the popular antidepressants on the market, which the FDA has warned can cause suicidal thoughts, the very thing it's supposed to prevent.

There are plenty of reasons to leave this planet. The new episodes of Lost are being discussed around the office water cooler again. The Democratic convention this summer should be about as amusing as an episode of Itchy and Scratchy. The antarctic ice shelf is splitting off into the sea. Britney Spears is due for another round of rehab.

Yeah, it would all look much better in a powdered state from the cold lunar surface.

More posts at www.wittenburgblog.com.

FurlStumbleUponTechnorati Tags: Ashes On The Moon, Christian humor, satire, humor

Comments(10)

that calvinist doug | 01:45 pm on 3/31/2008

Mama always said, "stupid is as stupid does." Now, I'm not a smart man, but I know what greed is.

SRebbe | 01:56 pm on 3/31/2008

How's my family going to visit on Memorial day?

Process Deist | 02:26 pm on 3/31/2008

One gram of ashes: $9,995.
A pink packet of equal is that size.
My ASH is a lot bigger than that.

buda | 12:36 pm on 4/01/2008

I'm all for respecting others values, but sheesh, this is depressing. I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse about my saving up for a custom shop Les Paul.

Process Deist | 01:14 pm on 4/01/2008

Sometimes a guitar is just a guitar. (apoligies to sigmund f.)

Process Deist | 01:17 pm on 4/01/2008

Apologies to all, excuse my spelling.

that calvinist doug | 01:32 pm on 4/01/2008

Master a good acoustic first (Taylor, Gibson, Martin, et al) THEN tackle an electric; otherwise, the electronics will make you feel like Jimmy Page when in fact you're only Peter Buck. At least, that's the advice I've been giving myself for consolation about not owning an electric axe!

buda | 02:29 pm on 4/01/2008

"Master"- that's a good one TCD, If I waited for that, I'd never get to turn it up to "11". I've played acoustic for..well.. a lot longer than electric. My problem was always bending the strings a 1/2 step every time I picked up the electric. Strings were too skinny. I almost got the martin but my crappy, 2nd-factory outlet, Alvarez just feels too good at this point. I'm much less attached to my 'lectric.

that calvinist doug | 02:50 pm on 4/01/2008

Hey I never said I had mastered it. I told YOU to master it. That's much easier.

60613 | 08:20 am on 4/03/2008

$9,995,000 to deposit 1000 grams - less than 2.5 pounds! - of cremains on the moon seems a little extravagant.

TAX IT! TAX IT HARD!

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