Hardcore Baptist Pick-up Lines

By Scott La Counte

Baby, you’re like a burning bush. I feel like Moses, all I want is a glimpse of the Promised Land.

You look like the whore of Babylon—and I mean that in a good way. READ MORE...

01.25.2008 | Comments(82)

If I Were God

By Adam Kenyon

If I were God, when people said things like “Too much information!” and “You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout?” and "Don't go there!" and “Booyah!” it would be sharply painful both for the speaker and for anyone who laughed or chuckled as if it were funny. READ MORE...

01.22.2008 | Comments(18)

Christian Music Acts You May Have Missed

By Dale Dobson

Morton’s Tabernacle Choir

This fifty-member choral group billed itself as “Cheaper Than the Brand Name Tabernacle Choir!” Many listeners heartily agreed, while others attempted to collect damages for pain and suffering. READ MORE...

01.17.2008 | Comments(6)

InfoCision - "To order a mircle, press 3..."
01.16.2008 | Comments(1)

God Deleted From Worship, Replaced With Ricky Ricardo
By Joe Bob Briggs

Professors at Dallas Theological Seminary published a position paper Tuesday eliminating the concept of “God” and/or “Lord” from Christian worship and replacing it with worship of the Bible only. READ MORE...

01.16.2008 | Comments(50)

Carpet Cleaners United by Christ, Synthetic Fibers

By Jon Erickson

From Guideposts ...

Once thought to be irreconcilably split over the true meaning of life, carpet cleaners from across the country have been brought together by the Sinner’s Prayer. READ MORE...

01.14.2008 | Comments(3)

Greeks Protest Cameron's Next Religious Exposé

By Chris Mikesell

SPANAKOPITA, GREECE—This small town on the island of Crete was thrown into turmoil, October 21, when James Cameron announced his next documentary project. On the heels of his Lost Tomb of Jesus film, the producer of The Terminator and Titanic has begun filming Olympus: Mountain or Molehill? READ MORE...

01.13.2008 | Comments(2)

Ted Haggard Pinched My Butt

Ted's friends

The Rehab Diary of Ted's Therapist

By Todd Outcalt

January 2, 2007
     We met with Ted for the first time last night. He seemed in good spirits, though his eyes were a bit bloodshot and he cast a few flirtatious glances toward Jack. READ MORE...

01.10.2008 | Comments(8)

Aliens in Our Midst Visitor Response Plan

Aliens In Our Midst

By Kathy Harris-Zmudka

Are you wasting valuable time at Elder/Deacon meetings brainstorming new ways to embarrass first-time guests? Time that could be used brainstorming new ways to embarrass, torture, and bore the youth? READ MORE...

01.09.2008 | Comments(13)

KitschKorp Presents... My Messiah-Matic

By Dale Dobson
Illustration by Jim Siergey

For more than 2000 years, discerning Christians everywhere have searched in vain, seeking spiritual merchandise that expresses their very own, personal faith.
Now - at last - KitschKorp proudly presents this amazing, new faith-in-action figure! READ MORE...

01.08.2008 | Comments(17)