Joe Bob Briggs's picture
Joe Bob Briggs
Founder, Focus on the Dysfunctional Family
05.15.2008 | Comments(4)

You Call This an Intergalactic Army?

During a meeting of the Jedi Faith Church in Holyhead, Anglesey, England, two cousins were fighting with light sabers when Arwel Wynn Hughes, clad in a black plastic garbage bag, leapt over a wall, shouting "Darth Vader!" and wielding a crutch which he used to bash Barney Jones on the back of his head and hit Michael Jones in the leg before laughing maniacally and running away. Hughes was eventually apprehended and sentenced to alcohol rehabilitation and restitution of medical costs, but the larger issue here is why, if the Jedi Church was in full convocation at the time of the assault, were the members unable to repel a single Vader invader from their midst. The answer is that the church was in England, where the outer form is maintained but the inner faith is lacking.


that calvinist doug | 12:11 pm on 5/16/2008

I thought it would be fun to insert some random quote from any of the Star Wars movies, but after a few moments searching my memory bank, it occurs to me that the dialogue in those movies was perhaps the worst of any blockbuster in history...which begs the question; why is it, exactly, that these folks have a Jedi church in the first place?

SRebbe | 03:52 pm on 5/16/2008

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." (Darth Vader)

And why would Darth Vader just yell his name instead of something like "Prepare to die" or something? Yelling "Darth Vader!" Really, how stupid, even for a geek in costume.

that calvinist doug | 03:58 pm on 5/16/2008

That Calvinist Doug!!

Yeah, that was nice. I'm gonna keep beginning all my comments like that.

mikep345678 | 07:57 am on 5/18/2008

perhaps "THAT CALVINIST DOUG!" so we know you're shouting?!? : )

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