Joe Bob Briggs's picture
Joe Bob Briggs
Founder, Focus on the Dysfunctional Family
05.08.2008 | Comments(13)

The Relationship Could Have Been Saved by Vegetarianism

After Christopher Lee McCuin was booked into the Smith County Jail in Tyler, Texas, on charges of murdering and possibly eating the flesh of his girlfriend, the county sheriff received a letter from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals requesting that McCuin be placed on an all-vegetarian diet while in jail so that he could not be “involved in any senseless killing.” At first jail officials thought the letter was a hoax, but the Tyler Morning Telegraph interviewed the author, PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich, who confirmed he had written it and said it was not intended to be funny. “It is up to you to prevent McCuin from contributing to any more suffering and death,” said the letter. Friedrich added that, if fed meat, McCuin could possibly become violent and kill again. "Only in a culture where people routinely kill and eat living, feeling beings,” he said, “would anyone even think to kill and eat a human loved one." Need we point out that the girlfriend tasted like chicken?


Process Deist | 12:18 pm on 5/08/2008

When a 'crack-head' gets the munchies....they get them big time.

that calvinist doug | 02:02 pm on 5/08/2008

McGruff the PETA crime dog here, saying, help take a bite outta crime.

Paul in Maine | 04:03 pm on 5/08/2008

Last night, a chicken sandwich didn't quite satisfy me. So I headed to my local Mickey D's. Not seeing anything on the menu, I decided to go for the girl behind the counter. She put up a little fight, but after a few minutes, I was munching away. Not bad, but you try dipping a leg bone into one of those small packages of sweet-n-sour sauce.

SRebbe | 04:38 pm on 5/08/2008

I ate my true love
but not without some tears
as I licked that spot on the back of her neck
and nibbled on her ear
she gave me heartache
she gave me heartburn too
as I polished her off at that final stop...

ok, I'll stop now

that calvinist doug | 07:54 am on 5/09/2008

SRebbe, there's a great Grateful Dead song (actually, I'm not sure it's theirs, it may be an old re-made folk song) called "The wind and the rain"

Little sample:

and he made fiddle pegs of her long finger bones
oh, the wind and the rain
and he made a fiddle bow of her long yellow hair
oh, the wind and the rain

A precursor for Hannibal Lector?

Lilly | 04:55 pm on 5/08/2008

Gives a whole new meaning to the word 'oral'.

Anonymous | 05:02 pm on 5/08/2008

A question for PETA : Is it immoral to eat a person who is in a vegetative state?

Paul in Maine | 03:36 pm on 5/09/2008

Reminds me of an old (probaly really old) joke--the hardest part of eating a vegetable is the wheelchair.

buda filling in for Dr.Freud | 05:55 pm on 5/09/2008

hmmm .... Two cannibal jokes in a row. Your starting to worry me Paul.

Lilly | 10:57 pm on 5/09/2008

Oh Paul! We now how much you enjoy working in the childrens nursery. But, this Sunday we need someone to help take out the trash and wash the church van. You are such a dear. We can always depend on you.

Process Deist | 06:43 pm on 5/09/2008

My wife and youngest daughter drove down to the shopping mall in Tyler this week. Getting ready for Senior Prom.
Before they left, my wife ask me what should she take.....I said take the Camry in the driveway and the Glock in the dresser drawer. (Bada Bing....Bada Boom...Henny Youngman could not write better stuff)

budda | 11:32 pm on 5/09/2008

I didn't realize you lived that close to Tyler, Deist. You could say "hello" to all my buddies at the YWAM campus there.

Process Deist | 01:49 pm on 5/10/2008

One hour drive North of Tyler.
I have driven by the YWAM campus a few times.
A few of their young people have spoken to our congreation.

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