Joe Bob Briggs's picture
Joe Bob Briggs
Founder, Focus on the Dysfunctional Family
04.16.2008 | Comments(7)

Besides Everything Else, Bob, It’s a Cliche

Robert Baldwin of Gonic, New Hampshire, stuffed an entire package of bologna down his pants and had to be apprehended by authorities for disgusting use of luncheon meats. The official charge was “willful concealment,” which is a misnomer since Baldwin was obviously engaging in willful enhancement, but he was sentenced in Portsmouth District Court to 40 hours of community service, and at least a portion of that time will involve learning the proper usages of all sausages, salamis, bratwursts, knackwursts, kielbasas, and, need we point out, wieners.

Comments(7)

Dick Tracy | 07:42 am on 4/17/2008

I will personally lead a search for 'peanut smugglers'.

Lilly | 08:43 am on 4/17/2008

Right Chief. Would that be the same as 'leaving the headlights on'?
As in Lohan, Spears and Hilton?

that calvinist doug | 07:53 am on 4/17/2008

Funny, when most men describe their weiners, it's usually a bunch of bolony; except for me, of course.

Paul in Maine | 12:13 pm on 4/17/2008

At least he knew to put his socks on his feet, and not in his pants.

Anonymous | 01:03 pm on 4/17/2008

"Welcome to Walmart, may I check your package"

SRebbe | 12:12 pm on 4/21/2008

So what is "non-willful concealment"?

JoshH | 01:15 pm on 4/21/2008

I think I remember learning about that in a required workshop in college.

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