John Bloom's picture
07.07.2008 | Comments(12)

Don We Now Our Homosexual Apparel

OneNewsNow is the daily news feed of Donald Wildmon’s American Family Association in Tupelo, Mississippi, but since they’re so afraid of the pagan elitist liberal media infecting their news site with anti-Christian thought, they put word filters on the incoming Associated Press stories, so that offensive ones are automatically changed or removed. One of those words is “gay,” which the AFA objects to as promoting homosexuality. But that can result in some strange news reports when the fastest human in the world runs the 100 meters:

News Story - Tyson

That would be the man known to his friends as Tyson Gay.

Jesus Is a No-Show in Florida

Todd Bentley

Todd Bentley, our favorite biker-dude preacher, currently holding the Revival That Refuses to End in a Lakeland, Florida, RV park, told his audience that Jesus would come down in his chariot in clouds of glory and walk on Todd’s stage on June 8th. But apparently Jesus promised and then didn’t show up, which seems very un-Jesus-like to us. I would imagine that on June 9th Todd was upset, which would explain why he had to kick a man in the stomach to get rid of his stage IV colon cancer.

Mama, Stop Writin’ ‘Bout Us

Britney and Jamie

Apparently that parenting book by Britney Spears’ mom is back on again. Michael Hyatt, the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, couldn’t wait to get back to the office last week, so he sent out an instant message on his Blackberry: “The Lynne Spears manuscript is totally compelling. I can’t put it down–and I’m not even the market!” What? The head of Thomas Nelson is not the market for white-trash confessionals? I’m stunned.

500 Christians in Jersey Can’t Be Wrong

Democratic Jesus

Of all the things I’ve blogged about these past eight months, my (admittedly snarky) item on the “Envision ‘08" conference at Princeton last month engendered some of the most outraged responses, many of them suggesting I’m an arrogant judgmental Neanderthal. Now the 500 Christian leaders at Princeton have emerged from this convocation with a “Declaration on the Common Good,” in which they talk about this “critical moment in the history of the United States” (without being too specific about why it’s critical), then calling for “the way of Jesus” and defining that way as “struggling for peace, social, economic, and racial justice, and a flourishing creation.” (I thought the way of Jesus meant picking up the Cross, but let’s not quibble.) For this Princeton group, the “new vision of the common good” involves ethnic diversity, elimination of poverty, and saving-the-planet eco stuff, but acknowledges that “we do not have all the answers.” In other words, another position paper that nobody will read, that manages to be even more boring than a United Nations position paper, and has the added disadvantage of being disingenuous. This entire conference was set up as a rebuke of the religious right. Rather than saying that out loud, they pussy-footed around the topic, denied that they represent the religious left, and cut off fellowship with those who also follow “the way of Jesus” but do it as conservatives. Leave it to a summer intern at the Institute on Religion and Democracy to write the most dead-on analysis of the whole event. Nobody who simply transfers the culture wars from the political arena to the religious is helping us find the one way, which, should we need to be reminded, is narrow.


Focus100 | 07:57 am on 7/08/2008

The list of sponsors of Envision 08 (see summer intern link) is interesting and includes some fairly conservative organizations. Maybe they forgot to attend because as was reported, this thing turned out to be a conference in which, "the religious right was consistently denigrated."

I think I will reconsider my donations to some of those sponsors. I really don't want my tithes going to support divisive, liberal conferences like this (or divisive conservative conferences). You might want to check out the sponsors and see if they are ones you support, and if so, write to them.

PeteAtomic | 08:02 am on 7/08/2008

"For this Princeton group, the “new vision of the common good” involves ethnic diversity, elimination of poverty, and saving-the-planet eco stuff, but acknowledges that “we do not have all the answers.”"

Left-wing christians could simply alter the bible for their own agenda. Luther did.

mountainguy | 09:07 pm on 7/08/2008

According to a mennonite friend, Cosntantine was "progresist" (like Obama). So, constantinianism-caesarism might be either left-winged or right-winged (Left-winged is not so bad)

emergent pillage | 11:42 am on 7/08/2008

--Envision is a theologically and politically diverse movement of Christians committed to following the way of Jesus.--

So, by "politically diverse", does that mean that they had both far left and slightly-left-of-center viewpoints expressed?

--In recent times, some have used Christianity to divide us from one another and demonize others.--

Oh, dear, they mean that Christians used to believe that there were (gasp!!) nonchristians, too?

--Envision inaugurates a new relation between our faith and our politics.--

Translated: We'll pimp for Obama while not really saying we're Democrats.

SRebbe | 11:45 am on 7/08/2008

it is official -- the AFA has flunked etymology. even most dictionary sites will point out that "gay" was founded in the mid-1200's as a happy and joyous word... although I did hear the urban legend that in Oscar Wilde's day, it became a code word for the "green and yellow" carnations which the, uh, fringe fops and dandys wore to distinguish themselves from the rest of the straight and narrow.

but we don't knoooowwww that... do we?

The Untouchable | 03:22 pm on 7/10/2008

Let's hope they don't get a hold of"The Flintstones",after all,they'll rephrase the theme's last verse into"We'll Have A Homosexual Old Time!!Wilma!!".
Point to Ponder:At the end of"The Flintstones",Fred puts the cat out for the night*(*The Cat's a Sabre toothed Tiger).\
The cat jumps through the window and throws Fred out for the night.
Fred then bangs on the door hollering"Wilma!!".
Now why didn't Fred just crawl back through the window again???

that calvinist doug | 03:30 pm on 7/10/2008

Damn it, Untouchable! I just this minute referenced the Flintstones in another comment on this site. Just to appease the rabid spirit of literary criticism suddenly pervasive around this joint, let me point out that I DID NOT READ YOUR POST until just now. I am many vile things, but a grifter of obscure or semi-obscure pop-culture references, I am not.

JoshH | 02:02 pm on 7/08/2008

Yeah, well...
nothing unexpected from AFA.
Everyone knows how ghey they are.

budda | 02:07 pm on 7/08/2008

I gotta say, the Todd Bentley thing has me very concerned. I just had someone compare him positively to Luther the other day. As in the reformation Luther, not the civil rights Luther. (I had to ask 'cause both are so preposterous that I wasn't sure, the person looked at me as if to say "obviously Luther the reformer silly") So I watched even more of the circus in Lakeland. I just can't believe it. Are people so desperate, do they crave the supernatural so very much, that they are willing to suspend rational thought. That such blatant side-show gimmickry can convince them that this is Jesus. I never paid much attention to the people who claim that actual crowd hypnoses occurs at these "revivals. Now I may have to concede something of a psychosis is taking place. Even by people watching on TV.

that calvinist doug | 03:28 pm on 7/08/2008

Thanks, Bloom. Your even-handed assessment of the Christian left struck me as about right. It's a tired old argument, but true nonetheless, that those who criticize the right constantly for being narrow-minded, often themselves sport some of the tightest neuron paths known.

And Budda, I'm curious, is this Todd Bentley character's "church" the same one which boasts people who mysteriously wake up with a mouth full of gold teeth? I've heard some crazy nonsense about this, told to me by someone I thought would not be so gullible as to believe it. Honestly, when Jesus or the disciples performed healing miracles they were just that, healing, not simply mouth bling.

budda | 04:32 pm on 7/08/2008

Good to see you again, Doug. I've missed your wit and wisdom. Your last post mentioned golf. That must have been some game. You play it in Scotland?

Yep, lots of gold teeth, gold dust, and gold dandruff. They also claim 20-some odd resurrections. I haven't seen any doctors say so, but then that wouldn't require faith. The "kick to the gut" link is pretty spectacular and should give you a feel for it. The thing I don't understand is, the more crazy it gets the more I hear solid people interested in it.

that calvinist doug | 01:20 pm on 7/09/2008

No, no Scotland for me. Merely been too busy to visit here much the past few weeks. Good news, I woke up this morning, rubbed my wife's leg, and discovered I had awoken with a golden boner. I'm hoping that if I send Todd some money, I could wake up soon and have turned into the Oscar trophy.

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