The 10 Worst Movies About Jesus


When your choices to play Jesus are limited to the talent pool of Lawton, Oklahoma, you end up with Millard Coody, seen here in his star turn in Prince of Peace.

(Not Counting The Passion of the Christ Because That Would Be Too Easy)

By Danny Gallagher

You would think the opportunity to play Jesus Christ in a major motion picture would be a distinction even more amazing than playing Hamlet, since Jesus is someone that no human could ever thoroughly understand unless he had the mind of God. Well, think again. Chances are the reason the director picked you is because you're the guy who couldn't afford haircuts and you owned a dusty pair of Man Sandals.

These are the movies that make the story of the Son of Man look like the story for Son of Flubber.


Robe 1
Keeping Jesus off camera for most of "The Robe" is the only thing 20th Century-Fox ever did to help Christianity.

This film may have been nominated for an Oscar, but so was Norbit.

Richard Burton, Shakespeare’s worst nightmare, plays Marcellus, a Roman soldier who crucifies Jesus and then wins his robe in a drunken game of dice. Since he can't put the thing up for sale on eBay, he decides to hang on to it. But instead of being the historical keepsake, bathroom rug or future dorm curtain he hoped it would be, the robe tortures him to no end. The very touch of it burns his skin and after he gets rid of it, disturbing dreams of Jesus' death and having to marry Elizabeth Taylor haunt him. The film attempts to portray the power of Jesus Christ by showing how even his outfit can kick your ass.

Robe 2
Widescreen Cinemascope Technicolor made the robe of Jesus look like a fuzzy-wuzzy blankie.

This was the first movie filmed in wide-screen Cinemascope, the format that was supposed to save Hollywood from the threat of television, but all it did was establish the principle that a dirty tube sock magnified a thousand times on a Technicolor screen will still look like a dirty tube sock. Everyone turns the overacting up to 11, which for Burton goes to the level of a drunken Renaissance Faire actor padding his resume.

For the role of Jesus himself, director Henry Koster decided to save money and just use his second unit director, which means the poor guy had to perform just about all of his normal duties in full costume. The studio wouldn't even let him eat in the cafeteria because they felt it was inappropriate for Jesus to be seen eating there in public. Come on, he may be the Son of Man, but that doesn't mean he never needed a Hungry Man meal.

Jesus Vampire Hunter
Go-go dancers always help with the "hard sayings."


There are a ton of B-movie horror flicks centered around Jesus Christ as a bad-ass spiritual hunter sent back to Earth to rid the world of demons and prevent the Second Coming, but this is definitely the best and that's not really a complement.

This cult favorite is so crammed to the brim with mixed genres that its mere stench lifts the lid off the jar and overflows with oozing mediocrity. It's a kung-fu movie. It's a splatterfilm. It's a Mexican wrestling film. It's a musical! It's a Jesus film with multiple personality disorder. And all of them are batshit insane.


Jesus CBS Poster
CBS decided to go high concept with the whole Christ thing.

It's May 1999 and it's sweeps week. All the other networks have big boffo blockbusters lined up to trick people into watching as much television as possible, but CBS executives find themselves standing out in the cold with nothing but old Murder, She Wrote and Diagnosis Murder reruns on your schedule, guaranteed to attract the oldest demographic since the Weather Channel went on the air. What do you do? Simple. You play on people's fears about the coming Year 2000 apocalypse and produce a made-for-TV Jesus biopic that’s bloodier and more over-the-top than all three of the Evil Dead films combined.

Jesus CBS Jeremy
One of the rare times that "bringing the story up to date" was taken literally.

This scene of the final crucifixion features actor Jeremy Sisto being brutally nailed to the cross as he tries to convey agony by screaming the loudest of any torture victim in history. When Jesus tells his father to forgive them for they know not what they do, a grinning Livio--played by G.W. Bailey, better known as Rizzo on *M*A*S*H* and Captain Harris on Police Academy-says in his best Bond villain voice, "We know what we're doing. We're killing you." Oh snap, Jesus! You just got served.

Then in the end he comes back to life in the modern day and beams down Star Trek-style into a short-haired early-thirties guy who greets a group of schoolchildren with a warm hug and walks them out of frame, making you think Jesus suffered for two days and rose from the dead on the third so he could come back to life and babysit for us.


Zombie Jesus
Well, yeah, that's probably what he would look like.

If Night of the Living Dead director George Romero became a born-again Christian, got a ton of funding from a religious film studio and decided to resurrect (no pun intended) his famed zombie movie franchise for a Christian audience, this wouldn't be the movie he would make.

This little film festival puddle jumper conjectures that the reason Jesus returns from the dead is so he can feast on the brain of the living, which we're sure isn't kosher even if you kill the
human a certain way.

Zombie Jesus Resume
Should we take "Zombie Jesus" off our resumes?

It's hard to tell from the trailer if the film is an allegorical tale of literal Biblical translation run amok or just another zombie comedy that tries to ride on the coattails of Shaun of the Dead. If it's the second, you can rest assured there won't be any "Take this and eat it, for this is my body" jokes since the film follows Return of the Living Dead zombie rules, which require zombies to eat brains only, and not Night of the Living Dead zombie rules, which allow the undead to consume the entire body.


Historic Jesus
The poster had a strange resemblance to the poster for "I Spit On Your Grave," but let's not dwell on that.

If faux-science shows like Unsolved Mysteries and In Search Of . . . attempted to tackle the Messiah story, of course they'd have to release their merry band of over-actors to reenact the story of Jesus in ways that made you giggle as a kid in places you weren't supposed to until the pressure from your sinus would blow your brains clean out of the back of your skull.

This schlock docudrama attempted to tackle that very subject. The movie features a stuffy, glass-eyed "historian" who uses the Shroud of Turin as an excuse to research the history of Jesus Christ, complete with so much hammy acting, the film will make you want to go kosher.

Since it ran in drive-ins across the country for years, it was allowed to feature the full crucifixion experience in all of its fake gory glory. So let's do those drive-in totals. We've got two nailed wrists, one stabbed chest, spear fu, Roman fu, Jew fu, Wrath of God fu and no aardvarking. We give it zero stars.


Lawton Story
Six-year-old Ginger Prince failed to become the next Shirley Temple.

Have any of you parents out there ever sat at one of your children's Sunday School Nativity pageant and thought you'd like to see your own kids acting out the birth of Jesus on the big screen? Hell no.

Despite that fact of life, that's pretty much what William “One-Shot” Beaudine did with a passion play from Lawton, Oklahoma. Beaudine got his nickname because he reputedly directed more than 350 films without ever asking for a second take. For this project, he was working for the legendary showman Kroger Babb, who specialized in traveling roadshows that would pack the local theater for three days of “educational” or “inspirational” screenings, followed by a quick exit to the next town. Beaudine and Babb took a local production and interspersed it with a film about a young girl who convinces his greedy rich uncle to see the passion play so it will open his eyes to the value of serving, not taking from, his fellow man. The acting in this thing is not only bad, but the Sooner accents were so thick that the entire film had to be redubbed because the angry mob in Jerusalem never sentenced Jesus to die by announcing "Git-r-Done!"

This is what's known as a William Beaudine action sequence.

Babb took the film on the road and then tried to sell the audience Bibles after the screening, which wasn't very successful because the movie ran four hours. It's hard to sell Bibles to a bunch of people whose faces had melted off from boredom.

The film became an even bigger failure when it tried to launch the career of Ginger Prince, the actress who plays the little girl in the film, as an attempt to step on the pituitary gland of an aging Shirley Temple. Again, films that melt faces off of their audiences won't help your career, not even in a "so bad it's good" kind of way.

Gospel 2
Enrique Irazoqui managed to retain this one expression throughout the entire film.


Some of the world's most astute film critics and historians have lauded Italian director Pier Paolo Pasolini's retelling of the Gospel of Matthew with glowing words that will never be used to describe directors like Ed Wood, Uwe Boll and the guy who made the Rollerball remake. But anyone who’s ever had to sit through it in film class, struggling with the idea of a Marxist Jesus with a homosexual subtext, will realize why Pasolini boasted about his lack of research. He basically turns the birth and resurrection of Jesus Christ into a kung-fu flick starring George Takei as Judas. Oh my.

Pasolini's Mary is not happy about being knocked up.

Pasolini–an atheist who was expelled from the Communist Party and had a movie based on the Marquis de Sade banned by the Italian government before being knifed to death by a gay hustler in 1975–films the Christ story with a shaky-cam documentary style that even gives blind people headaches. Some of the Jewish leaders have hats so ridiculous that even the Pope wouldn't wear them.

Ultrachrist Poster
You can't go wrong with Spandex.


Look, up in the sky! It's a skydiving hippie! It's that guy from Three Dog Night in a jetpack! No, it's Ultrachrist!

In this low low low low low budget film that looks like it was filmed in every high-rent/low-maintenance apartment in the Big Apple, director Kerry Douglas Dye poses the scenario that if Jesus returned to Earth he'd have to reinvent his image by taking on the persona of a superhero in divine Spandex. Well, at least he's got the body for it. That's right, Affleck, I'm looking at you, flabby.



Jonathan C. Green, as Ultrachrist, evangelizes the Episcopal Church in New Hampshire.

Christ runs around New York City in his street-bought sandals and clip-on utility belt that doesn't seem to be holding any utilities in his never-ending quest to fight crime. Eventually the big man upstairs decides he doesn't like his favorite son's new public persona and the Antichrist is on the rise and Christ finds himself stuck between appeasing his father or ridding the Earth of unholy evil, much in the same way the audience finds themselves struggling to either return the video to the store for a full refund or throw the thing in an incinerator to spare anyone else from watching it.

Miracle Maker Poster
The poster depicts the famous gospel passage in which Jesus heals a midget housewife.


Get ready to see Jesus like you've never him before--in crappy, old-fashioned stop-motion animation that even kids don't use when they're making Star Trek fan films in their basement.

If you thought that Sunday school film of the death and resurrection had more wooden and hollow actors than a Renaissance faire, wait until you see these actors who are actually made out of hollow wood. It's a stop-motion "3-D" film of the Jesus story that looks like the makers of Robot Chicken phoned in their last episode so they could clear the animation studio space for Assy McGee in time.


Miracle Maker
Unfortunately it's difficult to distinguish between Jesus and his cross in this stop-motion wooden-figurine classic.

It also features an all-star cast of celebrity voices including Alfred Molina, Miranda Richardson and Ralph Fiennes as the voice of Jesus, because, after all, the Son of Man spoke with a stuffy British accent though he was born and raised in abject Bethlehemic poverty.




Mona Lisa
The cast of "The Da Vinci Code" attempting to get that perfect Louvre snapshot where you look like the Mona Lisa and you can put it up on your myspace page.


The book that everyone in your office cubicle said you have to read is now a big-budget overblown movie without any big words or scary facts about religion to give you a headache. The book and movie dares to uncover the greatest cover-up in the history of the Catholic Church, unless you don't count the church's refusal to stand against the Holocaust and the string of priest molestations and the selling of indulgences as a form of penance and the fact that eating meat on Friday between Ash Wednesday and Good Friday is no longer a damnable sin.

Tom Hanks fondles the holy grail.

The movie suggests that the Son of Man was also quite the Ladies' Man because of an alteration in Leonardo DaVinci's famed "Last Supper" painting. Of course, it doesn't get to that juicy little tidbit until after two-thirds of the most excruciatingly bad acting and dialogue is done. But it doesn't end there. There's this big M. Night Shyamalan ending that reveals Jesus had a family tree, and after you calculate what you’ve had to sit through to get to that one scene, you realize that Christ may have died on the cross for our sins, but now we’ve paid him back by remaining faithful all the way to the excruciatingly painful end.


Anonymous | 07:10 pm on 8/01/2008

The comment about Pasolini's Mary is very offensive. You can be witty without being disrespectful. I strongly suggest you change the sentence.

Tenoshadow | 02:16 pm on 8/09/2008

You're a fucking asshole, whomever made this page it's a fucking joke, and it takes away from google's ability to provide accurate search results... Fucking morons... Who the fuck goes out of their way to make dumbass trash like this...

Texas boy | 01:43 am on 8/14/2008

I was disturbed by the failure to include "The Life of Brian" or "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," which is, at least tangentially, a Jesus flick. I think Jesus himself (assuming He does, indeed, live eternally) must have chuckled at the "Out the door, line on the left, one cross each" bit of bureaucratic incantation. It is convenient to retrospectively attach cosmic meaning to the passion, but he may have been processed just as mindlessly as any other first century convict. As Auden would say, "To JSO7M378, this marble monument is erected by the state."
Only the subsequent mythos invests this particular execution with long-lasting significance. But maybe it does so because, as C. S. Lewis would observe, in this instance, myth DID become fact. Quo est veritas?

Amy | 11:13 pm on 9/09/2008

Hey, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" was very funny! Although I agree with Film Threat: "[F]or an exploitation film, it sure doesn’t exploit the Christ angle nearly enough."

Bill Ectric | 10:55 am on 9/18/2008

Some stuff I made up, trying to be funny:

For its content, Baptists want to ban The DaVinci Code from schools.
For its writing style, the Unitarians are considering The DaVinci Code for their first grade reader.

Ivor Biggun | 05:00 am on 10/14/2008

sorry but i beg to differ, the davinchi code was brilliant

Anonymous | 12:38 pm on 10/27/2008

I'm always the only one with this opinion, and should probably stop voicing it publically but, far from being violence porn, The Passion of the Christ wasn't violent ENOUGH!

I totally think the basic concept of filming Christ's crucifixion is a way that shows just how brutal it really probably was is a sound one.

So when I saw Mel Gibson's flick, I was disappointed by how much he pulled his punches.

I could list lots of different examples from the film, but I'm really quite lazy. So, here's the most obvious one:

After getting the royal Roman turds kicked out of him, repeatedly, brutally, horribly, disgustingly, owie owie owie-ingly, how come at the end of it all Jesus still has all his teeth?!

Presumedly, this being approximately zero A.D. and all, oral hygiene wasn't the best in general even when Roman soldiers weren't using your head as a pinata. But Jesus, bloody and battered, still had a full set of pearly whites.

That bugged me to no end. Other than that, I thought it was a pretty neat flick.

Anonymous | 05:47 am on 11/04/2008

I like the film ' The Da Vinci Code '
This film should not be on the list.This film also shows the truth that Jesus was Mortal.
Which he really was

Cynth The Poet | 01:51 am on 11/17/2008

You have got to see the trailer for Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. I laughed so hard, the Communion wine I had this morning came up through my nose. (Now that's a miracle!)

Anonymous | 05:10 pm on 12/03/2008

Dude, you left out "Gospel Road"! I love Johnny Cash, but his tribute movie to Jesus was TERRIBLE.

xuxppxxuxyyy | 07:19 pm on 12/25/2008

hello it is test. WinRAR provides the full RAR and ZIP file support, can decompress CAB, GZIP, ACE and other archive formats.

i have heard only of some the films mentioned here.. i can't say for sure if they are really worth to watch.. but personally i liked The Miracle Maker - The Story of Jesus.. Watching it for the first time on DVD, I was very inspired, and I feel it is the best film about Jesus that has ever been done. The use of 3-D is very creative. i think this film has had a very significant spiritual impact on many people.. The best thing about this film is that it makes you want to go read the Bible!!

stevent | 12:33 am on 1/08/2009

I just learned about this site today, that's why I am late commenting. I disagree about The Gospel According to St. Matthew. I consider it an excellent film depiction of Christ's life.I believe you missed the point of Pasolini using regular people rather than professional actors, as they were being real, not truly "acting". (Although I do have to agree about some of the hats). The true importance of this film however, is that it shows the ability of God to use whomever He chooses to promote His message, ie. a gay, jewish, communist aetheist to make a very moving film about Jesus, using only direct quotes from scripture. I would also say that Jesus Christ Superstar was for the most part a pretty good movie about Christ. It's depiction of how much of Jesus message was initially misunderstood by his own disciples was accurate, Yvonne Elliman was great as Mary Magdalene and the scene of Christ's struggle with his doubts in the Garden of Gethsemane I think is possibly the best ever filmed.

Anonymous | 01:28 pm on 1/23/2009

Life of brian is hillarious. People wonder what the one unpardonably sin is--it is the failure to appreciate PYTHON.

Anonymous | 01:23 pm on 2/05/2009

I agree, I'd put the Miracle Maker up there with "The Gospel of John" on the top ten best Jesus movies. The claymation & animation made it easier to disassociate the actors from the people they were portraying.

Milton G. | 01:41 pm on 4/07/2009

I cant believe Jesus Christ Superstar did not make this list. I can see how Zombie Jesus would have a cult following since there is a market for cheesy, low budget, semi-offensive horror flicks. But I will heed the advice and never watch it.

The Curvy Catholic :-) | 02:26 pm on 7/08/2009

Yeah, I was surprised not to see JCS as well, as that's the first cheesy Jesus movie that came to my mind. I'm convinced Ted Neely's falsetto contributed to my partial hearing loss, later in life (not to mention my continuing lapses into atheism).

Derek | 10:22 pm on 4/08/2009

Have you ever seen the movie 6. With Stephen Baldwin, it is the worst movie, that has anything to do with christianity I have ever seen. I assume that it has not made the list because it is not about Jesus and more about the endtimes. I would rather watch left behind then the movie 6, which is saying a lot.

Bill Ectric | 01:12 pm on 4/10/2009

You know the difference between Baptists and Unitarians? (just pretend you don't, and say "What?")

Well, the Baptists would like to see the book, The DaVinci Code, banned from schools. The Unitarians are thinking about using the DaVinci Code as a first grade reading primer in their schools.

HA, ha.

Tiggy | 07:46 pm on 6/15/2009

Jesus Christ Superstar was a great film - I loved the tanks and guns. The music is fantastic. I used to know the words off by heart and sing them every night in bed. And no, it didn't send me to sleep, but it gave me something to do when I had insomnia.

The Passion of the Christ was just tedious. Was that supposed to be Aramaic those Italian actors were speaking? It sounded more like Klingon.

By the way, Richard Burton was a great actor and of course Jesus had a British accent! You don't think he was American, do you?

Tiggy (UK)

Branched chain amino acids | 07:45 am on 7/05/2009

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Anonymous | 06:11 pm on 7/05/2009

Maybe someday there will be a, "Jesus: Demonslayer!", which could include more historical lucidity than a LDS seminar.

jak szybko schudnac | 04:01 pm on 7/10/2009

Ciekawy artykul, bede tu teraz wpadal czesciej, pozdrawiam bzerwiusz

Helen | 11:54 pm on 10/09/2009

Laughing laughing...wheeew thanks. Now I've got to find some of these...

Monique | 11:01 pm on 11/07/2009

Thanks, but I think I can decide for myself which movies I like and don't like.

Robyn | 01:39 am on 12/14/2009

To each is own but I'm sorry you are a fool. I can accept "The Robe", "The Da Vinci Code", & even Jesus 2000 on your list even tho I really do like these films. & You're omission of "Passion..." is just your way of thinking that you are clever & funny. Get off it. But to include, The Gospel According to Matthew & The Miracle Maker on your list shows that you have no taste (Matthew) & no heart (Maker). I don't know much about Italian cinema but "The Gospel of John" is a good movie. I think that deep down in your heart you hate the controversial director, Passolini because of his political & religious views as well as his sexuality & you are taking it out on the film. For shame. As for "The Miracle Maker" (which was made by the same production team of HBO's "Testament: The Bible In Animation" and "Shakespeare: The Animated Tales", this was an intelligent production for children & teenagers that does not talk down to them by coming off as being overly "Disney-fied". Or, is that what you want?

Oh, & you misspelled "DaVinci" in its header. {{{{^_^}}}}

Anonymous | 11:36 am on 12/20/2009

The Judas Project wasn't that great sadly, but I admire it for trying to work w/ an intriguing concept. watch tvshows online

Fx Boss | 03:34 am on 1/15/2010

Great post, totally agree with you on that point.

jayashali | 07:22 am on 2/21/2010

who r u what r u doing now and r u live in earth,that is gave achance in ur life devudu unnadu jargarthaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..............

Anonymous | 12:59 am on 3/02/2010

The most embarrassing, undignified, faggiest, unbelievable movie portrayal of Jesus there ever was, is Bruce Marchiano's in the Visual Bible's "Matthew."

His Jesus needs help, serious help.

Anonymous | 01:02 am on 3/02/2010

The most embarrassing, undignified, faggiest, unbelievable movie portrayal of Jesus there ever was, is Bruce Marchiano's in the Visual Bible's "Matthew."

His Jesus needs help, serious help.

Anonymous | 10:07 pm on 3/13/2010

what about South Park's 'santa vs jesus'? now THAT was a good film.

yaaweh | 06:18 am on 3/18/2010

Are U guys seriously stayin with the demons and the satans
Who made this world
where is the demonic bible
where are their headquarters
why dont you guys disscus them
...well i feel "JESUS"is watching U guyz He is coming,,,I told him to break everyone's neck or kick the balls of one of your kinds who doesn't respect his Crucifixion"
and yaaaaaaa.. he is still deciding on that.....we r working up

yaaweh | 06:26 am on 3/18/2010


Am ready with another ADAM and EVE here
are you guyzzz ready with the swim suite,another copy of Nonah's arc or any bullish Japanese technology or somethin of which you guys leave on hope all are dying print this page and subbmit it to UN the earts so called UNITED NATION which is never meant to be

Anonymous | 02:23 am on 3/20/2010

The Robe was and still is a good movie. It was the first movie I saw that tugged at my heart, but it wasn't for everybody. If you want a bad movie, try Jesus Christ, Superstar, what a dog that was!!!!

Guiding Light United Christian Ministry for Jesus Christ | 09:08 pm on 3/29/2010

Except for the inclusion of the SO-CALLED comedies...You are a sad,sad man. I suppose you sit at home watching movies about Al Fish, Charles Manson and Vote American Socialist. You need to go to church. You need to stop worshipping Satan and you need to stop listening to Rock music, Gambling and Reading Pornographic Liturature. JESUS IS NOT A JOKE SON
How about the 10 worst SATAN Movies??? NO...YOU PROBABLY LOVE THEM!!!

Anonymous | 04:38 pm on 4/16/2010

you are right about "THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW", i coudnt stand till the 20th minute, its so annoying movie!

Anonymous | 11:37 pm on 4/22/2010

So why no "Last Temptation?" It was easily one of the worst films PERIOD! Not to mention lousiest Jesus flick.

Scarlet | 08:50 am on 6/11/2010

How LAST TEMPTATION didn't make this list is beyond me.

With that said, THE DAVINCI CODE is seriously one of the worst movies ever made and deserves its own article for how heretical it is. Yuck.

Massage listings | 06:53 am on 7/10/2010

I don't know the motive here to tell us about the worst movies of Jesus. I have not seen even a single movie of them but would like to thank you for this post because it never came in my mind that there would be something worst about God.

Pittsburg | 05:13 pm on 7/10/2010

Hope more movies to come about jesus! i love watching em! so touching!

pittsburg | 12:51 am on 7/11/2010

why do you always make movies of God? why not believe in him?

Prash | 03:32 am on 7/11/2010

but i must say Passion of Christ by Mel Gibson was really a good movie rather than all these bullshit movies that you shared above.

kimberly11 | 07:48 am on 7/15/2010

Well i am an roman catholic so i hate to see the bad article about jesus christ.

Management MN

kimberly11 | 07:50 am on 7/15/2010

Well...i like to read this article.

Management MN

table runner linen | 01:12 pm on 7/16/2010

I cant agree with you on this. Sorry man, its not the way you think.

Anonymous | 03:45 pm on 7/20/2010

I love jesus christ. I can't read any thing opposite about him.. Sorry, Well have U heard about the ambien tablets that are very effective for sleeping disorder?

Cheryl | 03:31 am on 7/21/2010

I love jesus christ. I can't read any thing opposite about him.. Sorry, Well have U heard about the ambien tablets that are very effective for sleeping disorder?

bible lessons | 12:24 pm on 8/10/2010

My vote would be the mini series as the worst made. However, I liked The Robe. Sorry. Is it really true the Catholic church banned Rosemary's Baby?

Scott | 04:04 am on 10/20/2010

Can anyone refer me to a movie I loved, but can't remember the name or otherwise find it.

The movie is about a woman in modern-day Los Angeles who is appointed the first female Bishop of the Roman Catholic Church. Her trials and tribulations include a wheelchair-bound daughter, but more importantly a Mexican Catholic Church that has a statue of Jesues that weeps blood.

I'd love to find that movie.
Thanks, Scott

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